"I Got Enemies, Got A Lot of Enemies..got A Lotta of People Tryna Drain Me Of My Energy..."
These past couple months...
I've endured some obstacles that have tested my strength, and of course I overcame them. A big challenge was taking power back into my life and owning my agency from my controlling mentor who also happens to be my great aunt (my grandma's sister/cousin-in-law).
My aunt is a very successful woman and I wanted to take after her, so she took me under her wing. She provided me with an abundance of resources but demeaned me in the process of trying shape me like her. My ideas and decisions were constantly put down and it was becoming detrimental to me. After 3 years of dealing with it, we got into a falling out and my aunt ended up cutting me off completely. I wasn't necessarily stranded because I had support outside of my aunt but I had to think of a quick back up plan since she had stripped her resources from me.
As months passed I was grew a resentment towards my aunt but those feelings subsided as I started to find my peace and moved past the obstacles. I decided to write her a letter to get out all of my truths, touch on how her actions impacted me in a negative light, and let her know that I'll be loving her from a distance.
Well the letter didn't sit too well with her and she took it as complete disrespect. My aunt had already been unhappy prior to me being taken under her wing and she was in a turbulence after cutting me off, harassing other family members about our falling by out. This woman manipulated my family into thinking I was this antagonist that threatened her life and went in rage about how my letter was in red ink (which is a myth of some voodoo shit that means you wish death upon someone). She wrote me a three page response that I skimmed but later threw out. I thought to myself, I don't owe this woman anything. I said what I needed and if she felt offended from my letter, I can't apologize for that. I was disappointed that my aunt never understood the full picture of my letter solely based on the color of the ink, but I couldn't dwell on the subject and let it drain me any longer.
Now that I've taken full control of my life, I'm in a much happier space. From those experiences, I know that's not the environment I want to surround myself in. Those type of people are unhappy and it's OK to be unhappy at times. Just don't project that on others and find that light from the darkness.
Block that negativity shit. You don't owe anyone an explanation or a step by step formula of your journey and if they can't agree with it, leave them behind or love them from afar. Be aware that some are only meant to be in your life for a season. Everyone deserves happiness so spread it.